{"id":4355,"date":"2017-10-06T15:12:34","date_gmt":"2017-10-06T15:12:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beer-syndicate.com\/blog\/?p=4355"},"modified":"2018-01-05T18:53:52","modified_gmt":"2018-01-05T18:53:52","slug":"the-philosophy-of-ordering-beer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/beersyndicate.com\/blog\/the-philosophy-of-ordering-beer\/","title":{"rendered":"The Philosophy of Ordering Beer"},"content":{"rendered":"

You can tell a lot about the philosophy of a person by how that person orders a beer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Find out which philosophy best speaks to you in:<\/span><\/p>\n

Beer Syndicate’s Guide to…<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

The Philosophy of Ordering Beer<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Fatalist<\/strong>: \u201cIt\u2019s a logical or conceptual truth that we are powerless to do anything other than what we actually do.\u00a0 Accordingly, it really doesn\u2019t matter what I order, you\u2019ll just end up bringing me the exact beer I was fated to have anyways.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Fatalism\"<\/p>\n

Empiricist<\/strong>: \u201cKnowledge comes only from testing things with the senses, so the only way I\u2019ll know which beer I\u2019ll like is by experiencing each one personally. It\u2019s best then that I order a sample of everything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Utilitarian<\/strong>: \u201cI\u2019ll choose the beer that leads to the most happiness for the greatest number of people.\u00a0 First, I just need to assign a precise and impartial \u2018happiness value\u2019 to each beer that I might choose and then somehow predict whether the consequences of choosing that particular beer will yield the most collective happiness, assuming there is such a thing as a \u2018collective happiness\u2019.\u00a0 You might want to come back to me\u2026 this may take a while.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Platonist<\/strong>: \u201cEvery object or quality (like a cat or softness) in the world is merely a representation or copy<\/em> of a perfect<\/u>, unchanging, ideal<\/em> Form<\/em> that exists outside of space and time. \u00a0Therefore, I\u2019ll have a pint of whatever you have on tap that best represents the ideal \u2018Form of beer\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Absurdist<\/strong>: \u201cHumans live with the conflicting absurdity of trying to find the meaning of our existence in a meaningless universe. As such, there are only three solutions to resolve this problem: (1) suicide, (2) belief in religion, or (3) embracing the Absurd<\/em> while defiantly searching for our own individual meaning. I\u2019m not in the mood for suicide or religion, so just bring me whichever beer you think might be the meaning of life. No pressure.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Absurdism\"<\/p>\n

Relativist<\/strong>: \u201cThere is no such thing as objective knowledge, truth, morality or taste.\u00a0 Therefore, feel free to pour me a pint of any kind of beer as they are all relatively good according to some framework or another!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Phenomenalist: <\/strong>\u201cPhysical objects do not exist in and of themselves, but are actually only logical constructions derived from perceptual properties (such as \u201chardness\u201d and \u201croundness\u201d) within space-time.\u00a0 This means that reference to any object is fundamentally a reference to some sense-experience, as we cannot sense anything beyond the phenomenon of our experience.\u00a0 Based on this, I\u2019ll have a pint of medium bitterness, wetness, coldness, brownness, semi-sweetness, with about 10% alcohol-ness.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Marxist:\u00a0<\/strong>“Under capitalism, commodities are produced so that they can be exchanged for profit instead of being produced based on what is needed by society.\u00a0 Wage-workers are viewed as mere instruments, valued only for their labor and exploited for their ability to generate profit for their capitalist employer, which ultimately alienates the worker from their humanity and individuality.\u00a0 The workforce will only regain its freedom and humanity when the means of production are commonly owned by everyone, money no longer exists, and no profit is made.\u00a0 In order to help with this transition, I\u2019ll just go ahead and pour myself a pint, free of charge.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kantian:<\/strong> \u201cAct as if the maxims of your action were to become a universal law of nature through your will, and that these maxims do not result in logical contradictions when we attempt to universalize them. \u00a0Personally, I\u2019d prefer a rare barrel-aged sour beer, but if I made it a universal law that all people ought to order a rare barrel-aged sour, then not everyone would be able to have it due to scarcity, thus resulting in a logical contradiction. I ought not do that. \u00a0Instead, it seems I\u2019m duty-bound to order whichever cheap mass-produced beer you have so that other people in the world would also be able to order it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Spinozist: <\/strong>\u201cThe universe is \u2018God\u2019, and \u2018God\u2019 is the universe, and everything exists within the universe. Extension is an attribute of God, and all material objects are simply modes of Extension. Consequently, I will have a pint of God, extended in the mode of a Pilsner, of course.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Spinoza\"<\/p>\n

\n

Hi, I\u2019m Dan<\/strong>: Co-Founder and Beer Editor for\u00a0BeerSyndicate.com<\/span><\/a>, Beer and Drinking Writer, BJCP\u00a0Beer Judge, Gold Medal-Winning Homebrewer, Beer Reviewer, AHA Member, Beer Traveler, and Shameless Beer Promoter.<\/p>\n

\"Beer<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You can tell a lot about the philosophy of a person by how that person orders a beer. Find out which philosophy best speaks to you in: Beer Syndicate’s Guide to… The Philosophy of Ordering Beer Fatalist: \u201cIt\u2019s a logical or conceptual truth that we are powerless to do anything other than what we actually […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[589],"tags":[985,980,986,989,988,982,983,987,990,981,984],"yoast_head":"\r\nThe Philosophy of Ordering Beer - Beer Syndicate Blog<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"googlebot\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"bingbot\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.beer-syndicate.com\/blog\/the-philosophy-of-ordering-beer\/\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Philosophy of Ordering Beer - Beer Syndicate Blog\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You can tell a lot about the philosophy of a person by how that person orders a beer. 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